That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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