Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
