You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
