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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.

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• (516): View more from New York

  then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs

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• (585): View more from New York

  They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.

  (716): View more from New York

  So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?

  (585): View more from New York

  Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  On a side note apparently my brother is gay

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.

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