I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
