So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
