I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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