Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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