I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Drake has all the answers
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
