Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
