I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
