nut hugger
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The Olympian is in my bed
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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