my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
