I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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