My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
