felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
