quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
