Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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