just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
