Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize