He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
