i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize