HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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