oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
