This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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