Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
