He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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