Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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