Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize