I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
