she was so not down for the gang bang
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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