I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
its not stalking. its research.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
