he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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