They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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