I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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