how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
