how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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