fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
