Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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