Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
