I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Oh god it's open bar.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
