so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm both gender and math confused
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
