I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
