it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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