the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize