At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
whose parrot is this?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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