OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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