I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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