im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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