You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
