so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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