Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
