Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
