It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
