i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
