im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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