fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
